jessica

@jessicaacarnee

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Joined June 2014
Born on 27 October
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    1 Jul 2017

    No matter what someone wears or drinks they are never responsible for being assaulted how is that such a hard fucking concept to understand

    8 retweets 27 likes
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  2. 1 hour ago

    ‘It’s like a fidget spinner but dangerous’

    1 retweet 1 like
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  3. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    peak comedy is realizing ppl from your high school are trying to become social media influencers

    6 replies . 788 retweets 3,441 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    every morning i wake up and light a candle that burns a piece of string that rolls an egg down a chute which triggers a propane torch that heats up a cast iron pan that cooks the egg which flops onto a plate that turns a handle which flips up my murphy bed, killing me instantly

    55 replies . 2,147 retweets 13,828 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?” What to the... American Indian... Detained immigrant... Child separated from their family... Banned Muslim... Victim of police violence... Is the Fourth of July? Enjoy your day off. Truly. Just don’t be fooled. We ain’t free yet.

    171 replies . 9,143 retweets 29,093 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    Me at 15: I will change the world Me at 20: I will make even the smallest difference Me at 25: I hope I can afford bread

    8 replies . 1,931 retweets 8,625 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Jul 2

    its not rocket science... if she’s important to you, show her

    34 replies . 13,351 retweets 37,378 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    "If the casting director couldn't find a trans man, they should at least cast a cis man!" If the casting director can't find a trans man actor to play a trans man part, fire them & get a proper casting director.

    48 replies . 6,525 retweets 25,357 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    This is Misty. She accidentally dropped her ball in the pool. Not a problem. 14/10 for the deep sea diver doggo

    314 replies . 12,553 retweets 80,984 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    getting emotional thinking about how much i love sitting down and being left alone. i love doin that

    19 replies . 1,608 retweets 8,025 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    Anyone who quotes this tweet saying “it’s coming home” is 100% a virgin

    Men reveal the three words they LOVE to hear during sex
    485 replies . 3,237 retweets 27,442 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    my only talents r going to bed late and being sad

    110 replies . 11,107 retweets 26,354 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    just remembered the funniest thing that happened 4th of July last year

    NPR tweeted the Declaration Of Independence and some Trump supporters were offended
    53 replies . 3,087 retweets 9,431 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    Me in winter: i don't do well with the lack of sun and cold Me in spring: I don't do well with allergies while things around me thrive Me in summer: I suffer in the heat and humidity like a dying hog Me for the two weeks of autumn: nice

    175 replies . 22,528 retweets 87,835 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    I Magid Magid, Lord Mayor & first citizen of this city hereby declare that not only is Donald J Trump () a WASTEMAN, but he is also henceforth banned from the great city of Sheffield! I further declare July 13th to be Mexico Solidarity Day! 🇲🇽

    2,209 replies . 7,241 retweets 18,847 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    why are all the good lesbian movies about forbidden love in a homophobic environment....like bish I want my lesbian thriller and my lesbian high-school movie where the head cheerleader falls for the nerdy girl

    3 replies . 29 retweets 90 likes
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  17. Jul 4

    I just hate people tbh

    2 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    Would I rather lose a kidney or unplug & move my phone charger from my night table? BRING ON THE ANESTHESIA

    7 replies . 7 retweets 99 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    When my barista told me they had lavender syrup I accidentally said “oh yes daddy”

    172 replies . 5,602 retweets 63,271 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    anyone at the gym with no headphones is training to avenge someone’s death

    142 replies . 21,145 retweets 86,528 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    At the ICE facility I visited, I met a woman from Mexico who has lived here for 18 years. She called 911 after her husband brutally beat her. They turned her over to immigration authorities. She now fears deportation. She has 3 kids. There should be no agency with this mission.

    915 replies . 21,335 retweets 58,391 likes
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