Finding Herself Again
“No human being would prefer losing her beloved country and being called a ‘refugee.’ Everyone would definitely return home if they could,…”
The night Mediatrice Kabasinga left her home in Rwanda, she didn’t know where she was heading. She was eight months pregnant with her second child and running for her life. A civil war between the two majority ethnic groups in Rwanda—the Hutus and the Tutsis—resulted in one of the worst genocides in modern history. Neighbor slaughtered neighbor, and friend betrayed friend. The country was awash in a bloodbath and masses of people were fleeing the country, many on foot. With only the clothes on their backs, Mediatrice and her husband walked from their home—piles of massacred bodies lining the roads—toward uncertainty.
They first made their way to a refugee camp in Zaire (now Democratic Republic of Congo). In the refugee camp all persons were equal—equally destitute. Status, education, and family background could not protect anyone from illness or death; money had no value. Conditions there were insufferable and the Kabasingas longed for relief.
From the refugee camp they moved to Burkina Faso, where she gave birth to her second son only two weeks after arrival. Life there was tough, but bearable. It took months to find work, but both Mediatrice and her husband were able to find jobs.
Although grateful to have preserved her life, in the struggle to survive Mediatrice started to feel like she was “losing herself.” She had already lost all her earthly possessions, and now she was losing her identity. “Parents give up ‘self’ for the sake of their children. I lived in a shadow of who I really was,” she laments. Mediatrice—educated, capable, strong—was now at the mercy of others. Other people made decisions for her. She had been a top student and banker in Rwanda, but now wondered if her hard work had been for naught. She felt helpless. Hoping for a better outlook, Mediatrice and her family applied for refugee resettlement. After three years in Burkina Faso, they were finally approved for resettlement in the United States.
Mediatrice’s family arrived in Houston, TX, in 1997. They knew no one and spoke no English, so the transition was extremely difficult. Resolved to become independent, both Mediatrice and her husband enrolled in school to learn English.
Mediatrice eventually found her way into the hotel industry, namely at Marriot Hotels. She was received well there because of the global outlook of the industry itself. She worked her way up from cafeteria attendant, eventually working in accounting as an assistant director of finance and accounting where she has remained since. She now has an M.B.A. from Texas Women’s University. Meanwhile her husband was able to earn his M.S. in Engineering. Gradually the family started to find stability in their new lives.
Although her heart aches for Rwanda, today Mediatrice is able to say she feels “happy” because she can see the fruit of her trials. She and her husband are both managers. Her two children have excelled in school. “What doesn’t break you makes you stronger. After all the struggle, I feel like I have found myself again,” she says.
To recently-arrived refugees, Mediatrice encourages them to embrace the best of what America has to offer, beginning with education. She says, “People have many freedoms here and hard work pays off. Close the door behind you and open another one. You don’t have to live in-between doors.”
For Mediatrice, the hardest part about continuing her life in the United States is being without her family, many of whom still live in Rwanda. “No human being would prefer losing her beloved country and being called a ‘refugee.’ Everyone would definitely return home if they could, but that opportunity has not knocked at my door as of yet,” she reflects.
Mediatrice visited her country in 2004 and would like to retire there someday. But for now, her goal is for her family to experience the American dream. She hopes to mentor refugees and help them obtain an education and become independent, as she and her husband have been able to achieve.
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by Cindy, USA
posted: Friday, 20th June, 2014
