GADO-BADZERE, Cameroon, Dec 8 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - W ith her two-month-old baby on one arm, Mariam Gary squats down in the dimly-lit kitchen to fry fish over a wood fire as she prepares dinner for her five children.
Daily survival is a struggle for Mariam in the simple clay house in a small town in eastern Cameroon, home for the 33-year-old and her children since they fled fighting in the Central African Republic more than two years ago.
Since mainly Muslim Seleka rebels briefly seized power in a coup in early 2013, the majority Christian Central African Republic has been torn by religious violence which has killed thousands, uprooted almost a million and divided the nation.
"We fled Bangui and walked to Cameroon without any belongings or money. I lost my brothers and sisters along the way, cut to pieces by machetes," Mariam said, her eyes flooding with tears.
Mariam is one of 250,000 refugees from the Central African Republic living in eastern Cameroon, more than half of whom have fled across the border since the coup sparked violent reprisals by Christian militia groups.
She is fortunate to have a home in the town of Mandjou, where some refugees sleep outside and people live off aid provisions of rice, beans and biscuits, but the young widow still struggles to provide for her children.
"I am forced to sell most of the food I receive to pay my monthly rent (of $8) and school fees for my children - life is very difficult," said Mariam, whose husband died of malaria six months ago because they could not afford to pay for treatment.
Almost a third of the refugees are spread across camps while the rest live with families in local communities. None of them know when they might be able to go home, said Khassim Diagne, Cameroon representative at the U.N. refugee agency (UNHCR).
Sectarian violence in the Central African Republic risks derailing internationally-backed elections now set for Dec. 27 after being postponed in October due to the fighting, leaving the fate of the refugees in Cameroon in limbo.
"We are not expecting masses to suddenly march back to the Central African Republic, but if you have peaceful elections then people may start heading home in early 2016," Diagne said.
VOTE OFFERS HOPE
Mariam is one of tens of thousands of women refugees in eastern Cameroon who are striving to make money to ensure an education for their children, with the support of the United Nations and aid agencies which provide supplies and equipment.
In the Gado-Badzere camp - home to 23,000 refugees, half of whom are women and children - 27-year-old Diarama Adama grins as she admires the sewing machine she was given a fortnight ago and proudly shows off the dress a customer has paid her to make.
Another woman, Awa, and her two sisters, grind peanuts into groundnut oil to sell to other refugees and on the streets outside the camp in the eastern Garoua-Boulaï district to feed and school the 18 children they have between them.
"When women arrive at the camp, they are sad, demoralised, and unmotivated. But by offering income-generating activities, we want to give them hope," said Achille Ndong, team leader for UN Women in the Gado-Badzere camp.
Awa's son, 15-year-old Mohamed Moussa, wants to return home to help rebuild his country, and said he begged his father and other men to register to vote in the upcoming elections.
"I saw how men killed my neighbours, my uncle and my grandfather," said Mohamed, while playing with his friends. "I want to become a judge to punish those who kill."
Almost half of the 70,000 refugees living in camps who are eligible to vote have registered to do so, and will cast their ballots from polling stations within the camps, according to Diagne from the UNHCR.
Sitting on a mat outside of a warehouse in the camp, 64-year-old Celine Asta, who suffers from diabetes and anxiety, recalls how two of her six children and her husband were killed as they fled the capital Bangui two years ago.
Despite the pain and trauma she has suffered, Celine remains positive and hopeful for the future of her country.
"I am registered on the electoral roll - my one dream is to vote for a candidate that will bring lasting peace to the Central African Republic." (Reporting By Josiane Kouagheu, Additional Reporting and Writing by Kieran Guilbert, Editing by Ros Russell; Please credit the Thomson Reuters Foundation, the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters, that covers humanitarian news, women's rights, trafficking, corruption and climate change. Visit www.trust.org)